back to top

highbrowandbeard:

THIS IS MY NEW FAVOURITE LINE

(Source: logotv, via be-the-homestuck)

apollojustlce:

Me: *doggy paddles* “make us free na splash kasaneta”

(via a-tiny-peach)

drewchainzzzz:

"Hey remember that time you…"

Yes. I remember every embarrassing thing I have ever done and chances are it keeps me up at night

(via be-the-homestuck)

skimcheese:

caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas:

madeagoestohell:

unexpected pregnancy is actually so weird like you can accidentally make a person 

image

I JUST SPAT OUT MY WATER

(Source: emojigrl, via be-the-homestuck)

breakfastburritoe:

dropping out of school to become part of a chicken nugget cult

(via be-the-homestuck)

guy:

u can’t spell boobytrap without partyboob

(Source: guy, via wizardick)

dumbasschronicles:

catesstrophe:

today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

working in customer service

(via wizardick)

do you ever stop and realize that people probably discuss you from time to time when you aren’t around to witness it

not even in a specifically positive or negative way just like

people mention you, or think of you, you occur to people sometimes

thats the most unnerving thing that i can think of, thats so weird, that i exist to people when im not even interacting with them

(Source: partyshoggoth, via majored-in-not-dancing)

girl: we finish each others s-
guy: ocialism

(Source: chosen-undead, via ezios-fine-ass)

nuvematown:

IF U DIDNT TEAR UP WHEN IROH SANG “BRAVE SOLDIER BOY” TO HIS DEAD SON IN AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER YOU ARE NOT HUMAN DONT TOUCH ME

(Source: camphalfbutt, via wizardick)

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

(via im-blushing-like-crazy)

realtalk nicki’s verse in monster is the best rap that will ever be

beyoncebeytwice:

can someone invent a candle that smells like a blown out candle

(via hylianrudolf)